My Summer of Chaos (Not Slowness)

School is back in session and I let out the biggest sigh. The sigh of relief AND sadness.

Both things are true. Somehow, always.

THE IDEAL SUMMER VS. THE ACTUAL SUMMER

I had big plans for this summer. A dedicated daily routine that included waking up early, working out, afternoon breaks, mom-of-the-year activities, and a house that got cleaned at the end of each day before I went to bed.

SURPRISE! That is not what I got.

I got a summer where every single day was chaotic, but for different reasons.

Between client deadlines, my own business development, carpool, summer camps, working out, drinking enough water, protein at every meal, planning and packing for trips, oh, and being a good wife and keeping the house clean at the same time, I really struggled.

Seeing Big Ben again after 8 years!

CHAOS HITS ME HARD

I love my family. I love my friends. I love my clients. I love that I got to travel, prioritize my body, and show up for the people I care about. That is the honest truth. And I also love that I got to prioritize my hobbies!

It is also the honest truth that I am a person who thrives on routine, and this summer had none.

When you are the kind of woman who runs a business, runs a household, and tries to be a real friend and a real person while doing it, no routine feels like I wasn't giving 100% to anything. Instead, I was working reactively, not proactively.

So yes. When the first school bell rang, I felt it in my whole body.

Obviously, there was relief, but there was a lot of sadness. Because, as hard as summer can be, this is my why. Being home with my family to be there as needed. To make memories like drinking champagne with my husband in Paris, and planning a fun friends day for my daughter. This is why I've made a life that allows me to be flexible for 2.5 months despite the chaos. And I am going to miss it.

Seeing one of my favorite paintings in Europe

MY LIFE LESSON THIS SUMMER

Here is what I actually learned this summer - balance does not exist. Not the way we have been sold it, anyway.

What exists for me is the sway.

Some days this summer, I was not the mom I wanted to be. Some days I had to push my own business development off because a client needed me first. Some days, the house did not get picked up at the end of the night. Some days I chose the workout. Some days I chose the friend. Some days I chose the deadline. Some days I chose the nap.

None of those days on their own looked balanced. But when I zoom out to the whole month, the whole season, I can honestly say I feel balanced. My family got enough of me. My clients got enough (and more!) of me. My business got me. My body got me. My friends got me. Just not all at the same time, and not in equal portions on any given Tuesday.

So I stopped measuring my life balance in a day - instead, I look at a season, and it feels better. Because when you embrace the sway, things tend to shake out how they need to.

I TRY TO LIVE SLOWLY

I have an ideal version of what slow living looks like in my head, but I'm realizing that the reality is not the dream. Instead, it's more about being present in the current life and embracing all the magical moments. Feeling all the feels. Prioritizing health and the things that fill my cup.

If you need me this week, I'll be sitting in complete silence while I work uninterrupted for 6+ hours!

Until next time,

Michelle Johnson is the owner and founder of Slow Burn Marketing Co. A boutique Utah-based marketing agency that helps other female-owned and operated businesses create beautiful websites that also work behind the scenes to get you found on the internet. Schedule a complimentary consultation to learn more about Slow Burn Marketing Co.'s services.

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